Things I suggest you can do with your day when all else fails.
1. If you can swing it financially, subscribe to Sirius radio and join the Stern Nation.
Howard Stern is amazing. If you don't agree, I don't think I can relate to you as a person. Every day (that he's not on break) he's on the air for at least 4 hours a day. That's 4 hours of quality comedy. You're not going to get that anywhere else. His show helped me get through my work day and helps me get through the days I'm not working. Plus he's got extra shows like the Wrap Up Show for those who need a postmortem discussion on what they just heard, and the hilarious Greg Fitzsimmons' show.
2. Social networking.
Your friends may not be available during the week if they're working, but they're most likely bored at work and are looking for a distraction just as much as you are. E-mailing, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc. are great for entertaining each other when hanging out in person just isn't possible. People's updates give you something to look forward to and social interaction is good for the soul. Plus it makes you feel less like that guy in the Twilight Zone episode who wakes up in a town by himself.
3. Help others.
This doesn't necessarily mean volunteering. It's hard to admit, but some people aren't up for cold-joining a community of strangers. But if you look around, maybe someone else could use an extra pair of hands. Do you have any family nearby that could use your assistance? Maybe a friend who needs help with walking the dog or a grandparent who needs help with their grocery shopping? You'll get out of the house, avoid isolation and as an extra bonus, someone else will benefit from your free time.
4. Avoid daytime TV and save it for the evening.
It's a weird trick to help distinguish daytime from nighttime and helps give structure to your day. Some suggested viewing: The Office (work humor), How The States Got Their Shapes (education with humor), No Reservations (travel with humor), HBO if you can afford it (awesome programming), Modern Family (family with humor), Kitchen Nightmares (screaming with humor), and Conan O'Brien (crazy late night humor). Notice I overused the word "humor"? Because you will desperately need to laugh during this time. The only exception to this rule is if you've found a semi-acceptable soap opera to follow or if Howard Stern is on vacation.
5. The internet can be your friend.
There is a ton of stuff on there that will keep you entertained for hours. Take advantage of it. That's why it's there.
6. Learn to cook new things.
Looking up recipes, doing the shopping required for each recipe and actually executing the recipe will make you hate life less. You're creating and enjoying the results. And, there's never enough to learn. So you're an expert in Italian cooking? Try Mexican cooking. You can bake cakes like it's nobody's business? Try healthy cooking. Plus it's productive in that 1) you're feeding yourself and 2) if you perfect your craft, you can cook for others like your friends or a future mate or whoever walks in your house.
7. Blog.
Even if it's whining on about being unemployed. Someone out there may read it and relate. I've searched out blogs and found that so many others are in my position that I stopped feeling so bad about myself. Maybe someone will read yours and feel better!
8. Look up new music.
Grooveshark.com is awesome for this. Look up new bands, or old bands. Music saves.
9. Hobbies.
When you work you probably aren't thinking about how to fill up your downtime with relaxing activity because the downtime IS the relaxing activity. When you're unemployed, downtime isn't appreciated anymore. Crafts, the aforementioned cooking, writing, photography, carpentry, pottery... whatever your scene is, that's cool. Plus you might find out you're really good at something you didn't know you were good at which could help you find a new professional direction.
10. Laze about.
If you want to watch TV all day, fine. But don't let it interfere with moving forward in your life.
11. Clean.
Yourself and the house. The average person is not that tidy, so most likely your place is cluttered like everyone else's. Make Mom proud and organize your place. When your life does get busier (which it will), it's nice to come home to a clean home. And don't forget to shower. Just because you're not going out doesn't mean you shouldn't keep good personal hygiene.
12. Join a gym.
Again, this gets you out of the house and amongst the people. Plus when it comes time to socialize, you'll feel good about the fact you can still fit into your clothes and that the brownie ice cream you stress ate didn't do too much damage.
Being employed in some form—either part time or full time, self-employed or working for someone else—is obviously preferred to searching YouTube all day. I'm not trying to sugarcoat the situation. It is definitely hard to sit home and think of ways to entertain yourself without spacing out and going into dark mental places. Hopefully I've come up with some ways to help you with that. Or at the very least helped you feel less alone about your situation!
Unemployment Depression
Saturday, July 2, 2011
The actual experience of losing your job is depressing enough. What people don't tell you is that the time you spend at home, especially if you're alone all day, can nearly destroy you. I'm here to tell you how to avoid self destruction. Now, I'm not saying I can get rid of all the bad feelings because that's impossible. There's no way to not feel frustrated. I'm just giving you tips to help stave them off until you break out of this emotional prison. It IS scary, lonely and sad being in a position you didn't choose, and especially one that puts you in financial jeopardy. But this blog isn't for those who are financially screwed. This blog is directed at people who are having trouble dealing with the daily grind of not being part of a daily grind.
1. Take temp work when you can.
Accept an assignment even if it is part-time, and even if the assignment is for less than a week. Besides earning money, there are other perks. You'll get out of the house, meet new people, make new contacts, fill your day with productive activity, and give you a chance to experience different offices, industries and projects on a trial basis.
Though the downside to temping is that it is definitely temporary, that can be a plus. If you hate it, you're under no obligation to stay and no one is upset. Hey, sometimes things don't work out. But if they do and the place loves you, they'll call you back for future work or even hire you full time if they find they need you in a more permanent role.
Oh and definitely register with more than one temping agency and stay in their faces. If you don't check in every few weeks, they may very well forget you exist because right now they're all swamped with candidates due to the economy.
2. Use the time to think about what you really want to do.
There is a certain freedom you don't realize you have as you sit in front of the computer feeling trapped. Remember in high school when you had to figure out a path for yourself and decide what you wanted to be when you grew up? It's kinda like that. You can go in any direction you want.
People earn money in other ways besides doing the job you don't have anymore. If you need inspiration, check out the PBS series "Roadtrip Nation", which follows 20somethings who are figuring out what they want to do with their lives. They talk to people around the world who are passionate about what they do and how they got to a place of happiness and satisfaction. Even if you're not in your 20s anymore, you will probably be able to relate. Everyone from fashion designers to mountain climbers to professional surfers to inventors have appeared on the show. It's a great reminder that an income doesn't have to involve living behind a desk.
3. Get a routine.
Being alone in the house every day while everyone else goes off to their job or on crazy awesome vacations can be really trying. You can, and will, feel resentment towards those who are lucky enough to still have a job complain on Facebook about how annoying their day at the office has been. But, they probably feel resentment towards you for sleeping late and having a ton of free time. Whatever!
Try to get outside whenever you can. I know that I (and others) have spent days in a row in the house without even giving it a second thought. This is ok in that it means you are great company for yourself, but isolation can set in and add to your depression. Take a walk, go to the store, visit a park, take a drive, go to the movies, do anything. Instead of shopping once a week, shop bit by bit a few times a week.
Another thing that's helped me is joining a gym. Not all gyms are expensive. Planet Fitness is a great option for those who are budget conscious. Plus, joining a gym will also to help burn off those calories you consume while stress-eating your way through unemployment.
Anyway, if you look around you, you'll definitely find that there is stuff to do that won't cost an arm and a leg. Also, try to schedule the outings at the same time each day. It helps to give your week some structure.
4. Stop judging/shaming yourself.
It's so easy to feel like you're the only one in the world in your unfortunate position. This is not true. MILLIONS are in the same position. Some worse off than you, some better off. The thing to remember is that it is not your fault.
5. Turn to the internet.
After you've checked all your jobsites for any openings, check out message boards on unemployment depression. Sometimes misery loves company and there is plenty of misery talk on there to get lost in. But also there are people there who can't wait to offer encouragement or success stories of their own that can inspire you to find ways to get yourself out of the sadness that everyone feels when they lose their job.
And I'm just going to say it- there is nothing wrong with joining Twitter or Facebook or other social networking sites. Not as a replacement for human relationship, but as a way to still feel connected to the outside world while you're riding the downtime out in your house. Plus, sometimes you'll make friendly connections online that take you out of the house.
Along with socializing online when you can't in person, I think there's also nothing wrong with letting the internet distract you from your situation either. Everyone needs entertainment in their lives. There's YouTube, StumbleUpon, etc. If you're tired of filling your head with fluff, you can also utilize the web to educate yourself on a wide variety of topics whether it's silly or important (assuming you're visiting reputable sites).
Don't be afraid to start a blog either. I did, obviously. Even if no one reads this, I did something creative today and vented, so I feel better. And honestly, one of my daily goals is to keep from going over the edge. If I managed to keep it together without having a freakout, I consider the day a success.
6. Don't set your expectations too high.
I was told by a person at Unemployment that on the average, people only get one interview per 40 resumes that they send out. One out of 40! Even the Unemployment office doesn't expect you to find a job a week after you file. Take some pressure off yourself and realize that it's going to take some time. Unless you are very, very lucky of course. But you would be in the minority if you did find a job right off the bat. It's not 2000 anymore. It's 2011. Some people are even admitting to giving up job hunting and are making alternative plans for themselves.
Look, you're not going to find a temp job every week, or even every month. But eventually something will turn up if you keep pressing on. Though things suck, we're not at Great Depression levels (yet). So there is bound to be something for you eventually, just not right away.
7. Be nice to yourself.
You didn't do something that you should be punished for. You're just out of a job at the moment. This could change tomorrow. Do the positive affirmation thing you saw Stuart Smalley do on Saturday Night Live. It works. Make a list that you read every time you feel sad consisting of things you're grateful for and that you're doing right. Remind yourself of times when you didn't know something good was about to happen or how you've pulled through other life difficulties. Listen to inspiring music or watch inspiring TV. Do things you enjoy. Really. It's ok to have fun even though you're not earning money.
And on the other side of things, it's ok to be sulky. You're going to have days where you aren't motivated and just want to watch Everybody Loves Raymond marathons, eat ice cream and play video games. That's fine! Own it! There is no way to be happy go lucky every day during this time, so treat yourself to some laziness. Just try not to go overboard.
8. Be honest with yourself. Really.
Are you really doing everything in your power to get yourself out of your situation? Did you really like your last job? What do you really want to do for a living after the experiences you've had in life? Have you really reached out for emotional support or are you keeping it all in and adding to your stress? The more honest you are with yourself about issues like these, the closer you will be to finding some inner peace about your situation and go in a positive direction.
9. If you've been out of work for a LONG time, relax.
If it's been years (which for some it has) since you worked full-time, congratulate yourself on making it through this far without giving in to your demons. I mean, some people don't make it and depression takes over with life-ending results. But you're still here! And, I bet you had some pretty awesome days here and there since that stupid place let you go. There are more good times around the corner. I promise you.
10. Read "Oh! The Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss.
I love this poem because it makes me feel like what I'm going through is just a part of life and is not permanent. Life is full of ups and downs and there is nothing you can do about it but try to get through the downs, and you will!
I guess that's all for now. If anyone reads this, post your suggestions!
1. Take temp work when you can.
Accept an assignment even if it is part-time, and even if the assignment is for less than a week. Besides earning money, there are other perks. You'll get out of the house, meet new people, make new contacts, fill your day with productive activity, and give you a chance to experience different offices, industries and projects on a trial basis.
Though the downside to temping is that it is definitely temporary, that can be a plus. If you hate it, you're under no obligation to stay and no one is upset. Hey, sometimes things don't work out. But if they do and the place loves you, they'll call you back for future work or even hire you full time if they find they need you in a more permanent role.
Oh and definitely register with more than one temping agency and stay in their faces. If you don't check in every few weeks, they may very well forget you exist because right now they're all swamped with candidates due to the economy.
2. Use the time to think about what you really want to do.
There is a certain freedom you don't realize you have as you sit in front of the computer feeling trapped. Remember in high school when you had to figure out a path for yourself and decide what you wanted to be when you grew up? It's kinda like that. You can go in any direction you want.
People earn money in other ways besides doing the job you don't have anymore. If you need inspiration, check out the PBS series "Roadtrip Nation", which follows 20somethings who are figuring out what they want to do with their lives. They talk to people around the world who are passionate about what they do and how they got to a place of happiness and satisfaction. Even if you're not in your 20s anymore, you will probably be able to relate. Everyone from fashion designers to mountain climbers to professional surfers to inventors have appeared on the show. It's a great reminder that an income doesn't have to involve living behind a desk.
3. Get a routine.
Being alone in the house every day while everyone else goes off to their job or on crazy awesome vacations can be really trying. You can, and will, feel resentment towards those who are lucky enough to still have a job complain on Facebook about how annoying their day at the office has been. But, they probably feel resentment towards you for sleeping late and having a ton of free time. Whatever!
Try to get outside whenever you can. I know that I (and others) have spent days in a row in the house without even giving it a second thought. This is ok in that it means you are great company for yourself, but isolation can set in and add to your depression. Take a walk, go to the store, visit a park, take a drive, go to the movies, do anything. Instead of shopping once a week, shop bit by bit a few times a week.
Another thing that's helped me is joining a gym. Not all gyms are expensive. Planet Fitness is a great option for those who are budget conscious. Plus, joining a gym will also to help burn off those calories you consume while stress-eating your way through unemployment.
Anyway, if you look around you, you'll definitely find that there is stuff to do that won't cost an arm and a leg. Also, try to schedule the outings at the same time each day. It helps to give your week some structure.
4. Stop judging/shaming yourself.
It's so easy to feel like you're the only one in the world in your unfortunate position. This is not true. MILLIONS are in the same position. Some worse off than you, some better off. The thing to remember is that it is not your fault.
5. Turn to the internet.
After you've checked all your jobsites for any openings, check out message boards on unemployment depression. Sometimes misery loves company and there is plenty of misery talk on there to get lost in. But also there are people there who can't wait to offer encouragement or success stories of their own that can inspire you to find ways to get yourself out of the sadness that everyone feels when they lose their job.
And I'm just going to say it- there is nothing wrong with joining Twitter or Facebook or other social networking sites. Not as a replacement for human relationship, but as a way to still feel connected to the outside world while you're riding the downtime out in your house. Plus, sometimes you'll make friendly connections online that take you out of the house.
Along with socializing online when you can't in person, I think there's also nothing wrong with letting the internet distract you from your situation either. Everyone needs entertainment in their lives. There's YouTube, StumbleUpon, etc. If you're tired of filling your head with fluff, you can also utilize the web to educate yourself on a wide variety of topics whether it's silly or important (assuming you're visiting reputable sites).
Don't be afraid to start a blog either. I did, obviously. Even if no one reads this, I did something creative today and vented, so I feel better. And honestly, one of my daily goals is to keep from going over the edge. If I managed to keep it together without having a freakout, I consider the day a success.
6. Don't set your expectations too high.
I was told by a person at Unemployment that on the average, people only get one interview per 40 resumes that they send out. One out of 40! Even the Unemployment office doesn't expect you to find a job a week after you file. Take some pressure off yourself and realize that it's going to take some time. Unless you are very, very lucky of course. But you would be in the minority if you did find a job right off the bat. It's not 2000 anymore. It's 2011. Some people are even admitting to giving up job hunting and are making alternative plans for themselves.
Look, you're not going to find a temp job every week, or even every month. But eventually something will turn up if you keep pressing on. Though things suck, we're not at Great Depression levels (yet). So there is bound to be something for you eventually, just not right away.
7. Be nice to yourself.
You didn't do something that you should be punished for. You're just out of a job at the moment. This could change tomorrow. Do the positive affirmation thing you saw Stuart Smalley do on Saturday Night Live. It works. Make a list that you read every time you feel sad consisting of things you're grateful for and that you're doing right. Remind yourself of times when you didn't know something good was about to happen or how you've pulled through other life difficulties. Listen to inspiring music or watch inspiring TV. Do things you enjoy. Really. It's ok to have fun even though you're not earning money.
And on the other side of things, it's ok to be sulky. You're going to have days where you aren't motivated and just want to watch Everybody Loves Raymond marathons, eat ice cream and play video games. That's fine! Own it! There is no way to be happy go lucky every day during this time, so treat yourself to some laziness. Just try not to go overboard.
8. Be honest with yourself. Really.
Are you really doing everything in your power to get yourself out of your situation? Did you really like your last job? What do you really want to do for a living after the experiences you've had in life? Have you really reached out for emotional support or are you keeping it all in and adding to your stress? The more honest you are with yourself about issues like these, the closer you will be to finding some inner peace about your situation and go in a positive direction.
9. If you've been out of work for a LONG time, relax.
If it's been years (which for some it has) since you worked full-time, congratulate yourself on making it through this far without giving in to your demons. I mean, some people don't make it and depression takes over with life-ending results. But you're still here! And, I bet you had some pretty awesome days here and there since that stupid place let you go. There are more good times around the corner. I promise you.
10. Read "Oh! The Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss.
I love this poem because it makes me feel like what I'm going through is just a part of life and is not permanent. Life is full of ups and downs and there is nothing you can do about it but try to get through the downs, and you will!
Oh! The Places You’ll Go! Congratulations! You have brains in your head. You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street. And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air. Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you. And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too. Oh! The Places You’ll Go! You’ll be on your way up! You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest. Except when you don’t. I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you. You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch. You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump. And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done. You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win? And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind. You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place. The Waiting Place…for people just waiting. Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting. No! That’s not for you! Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV. Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t. I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you. All Alone! And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on. But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are. You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left. And will you succeed? Kid, you’ll move mountains! |
I guess that's all for now. If anyone reads this, post your suggestions!
Mistakes Employers Make During Hiring
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
I am one of those people who is not part of the 9 to 5 workforce at the moment. Times are changing and it looks like my chosen job (print production artist) is being forced out of full time and into a freelance position at many companies. In other words, it's been a lot easier to find freelance/temp work than full time. Because of this, I have stretches of time where I'm between gigs and have to look for new opportunities to earn money on a regular basis. This means reading a LOT of job postings. I have to tell you, though there are listings there, it doesn't mean I can necessarily apply to them. And after living with this job search routine for quite some time, I hate to say it, but there are listings I don't WANT to apply to for a variety of reasons. Here are my top 5 turnoffs:
1. You are offering a ridiculously low salary.
No self respecting experienced employee is going to accept a position that pays half of what they are worth. A few bucks less than ideal? OK. But half?! Come on. Even if out of desperation a quality employee actually applies, they're most likely going to leave for a better salary the first chance they get. If you want to be cheap, be prepared to get stuck with someone sub-par who will not be very good at the job or someone who will always have a foot out the door. You get what you pay for. You care about your business right? Then shell out a few bucks to hire good, qualified people and it will be worth it in the long run. Or else get ready for high turnaround, huge amounts of frustration hiring new people constantly, or face losing a great worker who will show you no loyalty at all.
2. We are not "gurus", "magicians", or "ninjas."
We are designers and artists. Using this language makes you sound like an idiot, and makes us feel like you think we are idiots as well. We aren't children who need the job to sound like some fantastical wondrous movie adventure. We also don't want to feel like we have to show up ready to pull a rabbit out of a hat to impress you. List what the job entails, what you are looking for in terms of qualifications, a small bit about your work environment and what you have to offer, and how to get in touch with you. In other words, grow up and speak to us like the educated adults that we are.
3. Your applicants don't know EVERYTHING.
Nothing is more frustrating than seeing a job listing that requires the applicant to know print, interactive and video programs all at the same time. Most of us went to school for a specific major (just like you), and chances are we are not going to magically be an expert in every software program under the sun. Print designers know print, interactive designers know interactive, and video editors know video editing. Asking me to know InDesign, Flash, HTML and Final Cut Pro is like asking me to be able to speak English, Russian and Japanese. If you do manage to find the elusive employee who does know all that you require, get ready to pay big bucks.
4. Put effort into your job listing.
Incomplete sentences, misspelled words, and job descriptions that are either too brief or too long are all things that are red flags. You read hundreds of resumes? Well we read hundreds of listings. That means we pick and choose what we want to respond to just like you do. Think of it as an ad for your company, not just a cattle call. Make the company sound like a place we want to work for, and you'll attract employees you'll want to hire.
5. Once we're in your office, don't talk trash about the person we're replacing.
It makes you look petty. If one of your major complaints was that he/she didn't go to lunch with you, then you appear to have mixed up priorities. If you're annoyed that the ex-employee spent their free time websurfing, then don't confess to me that you have used your own downtime to design invitations for your kid's birthday party (these things were actually said to me in an interview).
The way I approach a job is that I come in, I do the work, and I go home. I am not looking to start drama and I stay out of its way in the workplace. I am qualified, responsible, congenial and only want to do a good job. If I sound like a good employee, it's because I am.
If you're a company that is guilty of any of these five things, then you know why you haven't received my resume.
1. You are offering a ridiculously low salary.
No self respecting experienced employee is going to accept a position that pays half of what they are worth. A few bucks less than ideal? OK. But half?! Come on. Even if out of desperation a quality employee actually applies, they're most likely going to leave for a better salary the first chance they get. If you want to be cheap, be prepared to get stuck with someone sub-par who will not be very good at the job or someone who will always have a foot out the door. You get what you pay for. You care about your business right? Then shell out a few bucks to hire good, qualified people and it will be worth it in the long run. Or else get ready for high turnaround, huge amounts of frustration hiring new people constantly, or face losing a great worker who will show you no loyalty at all.
2. We are not "gurus", "magicians", or "ninjas."
We are designers and artists. Using this language makes you sound like an idiot, and makes us feel like you think we are idiots as well. We aren't children who need the job to sound like some fantastical wondrous movie adventure. We also don't want to feel like we have to show up ready to pull a rabbit out of a hat to impress you. List what the job entails, what you are looking for in terms of qualifications, a small bit about your work environment and what you have to offer, and how to get in touch with you. In other words, grow up and speak to us like the educated adults that we are.
3. Your applicants don't know EVERYTHING.
Nothing is more frustrating than seeing a job listing that requires the applicant to know print, interactive and video programs all at the same time. Most of us went to school for a specific major (just like you), and chances are we are not going to magically be an expert in every software program under the sun. Print designers know print, interactive designers know interactive, and video editors know video editing. Asking me to know InDesign, Flash, HTML and Final Cut Pro is like asking me to be able to speak English, Russian and Japanese. If you do manage to find the elusive employee who does know all that you require, get ready to pay big bucks.
4. Put effort into your job listing.
Incomplete sentences, misspelled words, and job descriptions that are either too brief or too long are all things that are red flags. You read hundreds of resumes? Well we read hundreds of listings. That means we pick and choose what we want to respond to just like you do. Think of it as an ad for your company, not just a cattle call. Make the company sound like a place we want to work for, and you'll attract employees you'll want to hire.
5. Once we're in your office, don't talk trash about the person we're replacing.
It makes you look petty. If one of your major complaints was that he/she didn't go to lunch with you, then you appear to have mixed up priorities. If you're annoyed that the ex-employee spent their free time websurfing, then don't confess to me that you have used your own downtime to design invitations for your kid's birthday party (these things were actually said to me in an interview).
The way I approach a job is that I come in, I do the work, and I go home. I am not looking to start drama and I stay out of its way in the workplace. I am qualified, responsible, congenial and only want to do a good job. If I sound like a good employee, it's because I am.
If you're a company that is guilty of any of these five things, then you know why you haven't received my resume.
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